just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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