Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Naked Twister starts at high noon
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
