Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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