Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
