I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
