Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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