ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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