I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My bed smells like the plague
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
