i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Oh god it's open bar.
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