You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
