Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
