You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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