last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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