you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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