I'm jealous of your bromance
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
