Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
