Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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