i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
