Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
