Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
