with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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