Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
