we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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