In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
