D3 body, D1 cock
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
