I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
