i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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