I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
