my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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