I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize