So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
