Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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