i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
