sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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