He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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