The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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