You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The beer is more important than you right now.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
