dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
