My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
