I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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