Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
All I want is dick and wine.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
