WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
