He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
its liver damage thursday
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
