I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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