gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
