I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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