Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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