I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
