Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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