You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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