I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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