Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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