Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
