I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Randomize
