roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
