I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
