and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
