somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize