he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
