You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
