saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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