His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
