I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
