it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
